I wrote this a few days ago. It’s ironic, yet rather true. I believe I was twelve when I started thinking, and sometimes I find myself thinking: Seemingly thinking is becoming a rarety only few are gifted with.

When I say ‘thinking’, I’m not talking about ordinary thought passing through our brains, but realisations and deeper thoughts on subjects such as life and the commotions around it.


Pay it forward

June 6, 2008

Yesterday, by accident, I watched the film “Pay it forward” based on the book by Catherine Ryan Hyde. It’s about Trevor, who in social studies class, has an assignment named “Think of an idea for world change, and put it into action”. Trevor’s idea is quite magnificent:

Trevor helps three persons with something really hard (e.g. helping Jerry off drugs, his social studies teacher into a relationship with Arlene, Trevor’s mother, and finally a classmate not getting beat-up – which unfortunately leads to Trevor being stabbed and killed), and instead of having them paying back the favour, they have to pay it forward to three people each. So far it has helped twelve persons. The nine persons are paying it forward as well. It evolves exponentially, and basically helps everyone.

In 2000, when the book (and film) was released, an actual movement began worldwide. The movement based on the philosophy ‘Pay it forward’, and today there’s a Pay It Forward Foundation promoting the philosophy. The idea is beautiful, and believes in the goodness in all people, which is the problem. Believing in the goodness of human beings has an frightening relation to suicide. I would love to believe in it, but it’s quite naïve. I’m being a critic here, so if anyone out there reading this – would you pay it forward? – please answer truthfully (anonymous if needed :P)

#3: God and MSN Messenger

February 10, 2008

One might think that this is just a collection of quotes spiced with a little more, but I do intend to write more myself. I had many weblogs, and all of them ended up in the gutter, because it became too messy. I’m trying my best to avoid that, and thats besides the fact that I don’t have much time on my hands to write.

A long time ago, I read this conversation between a blogger named Chris Battaglia and god himself. Whether it’s fictive or not, it doesn’t matter once you’ve read it. It’s an interesting truth – or point of view.

god says: oi
cbattaglia says: hey there
god says: lol
cbattaglia says: ?
god says: u know who i am?
cbattaglia says: sure. you’re the big cheese
god says: lmao, got that right
cbattaglia says: what’s up?
god says: nothing much. u?
cbattaglia says: same
god says: …so, got any questions for me?
cbattaglia says: i guess… is that why you’re talking to me?
god says: sure. lol
cbattaglia says: ok. well, i guess the biggest one right now would be: why are you talking to me?
god says: why not?
cbattaglia says: seems kind of random. i mean, i don’t even believe in you. usually you appear to people who already preach about you 24/7
god says: yeah… i’m kind of tired of those guys. they’re mostly brown-nosers and spin doctors, so i figured i’d try something different today
cbattaglia says: is that why you’re using MSN, instead of the preferred “visions” methods?
god says: how do you know this isn’t just a vision?
cbattaglia says: …touche, god.
god says: lol
cbattaglia says: but seriously, why me: an atheist? why not a Muslim or Buddhist or Hindu?
god says: y would i appear before them? i’m looking for a change here. they already believe in me
cbattaglia says: how so?
god says: at the core, all spiritual beliefs are the same. they’re about knowing deep down that there is something more out there, some sort of presence, and framework, guiding a universe that feels too complex to be random
cbattaglia says: i see, but they all believe different things…
god says: the core is the same, and that core is me. to some, i am more than one being. to others, i have more eyes or limbs. some even believe that i have no physically recognizable form. the interpretations may vary, but my existence is constant
cbattaglia says: ok, but if this is true, why all the fighting in hatred done in your name? it’s kind of pointless if they’re all fighting for the same side
god says: lol, don’t go pinning that on me. and yes, it’s completely pointless. the fact that they commit these atrocities in my name pisses me off to no end
cbattaglia says: then why don’t you stop it?
god says: because that’s not how i roll. i’m not the babysitter of earth, or any of the other planets. the reason i gave u guys free will was so that i wouldn’t have to hold ur hand all the time. i have a life too, y’know
cbattaglia says: ok, makes sense
cbattaglia says: wait… other planets? do those planets have life?
god says: of course! lmao y wouldn’t i put life on other planets? u guys aren’t my 1 special little project. and i must say, u aren’t the best of the bunch, either. not the worst, but…
cbattaglia says: hehe, i bet
god says: anyway, like i was saying, i don’t enjoy being attached to the causes of everyone who craves comfort, power, validation, etc, but i can’t really blame them. false security is the warmest blanket there is. i do hate it when i’m held responsible for nature’s stuff though. that shit is on autopilot. it just works with what it’s given
cbattaglia says: so gays didn’t cause you to make Katrina?
god says: lol no, and what’s with people attaching me to their views on gays? i have no problem with them. what i do have a problem with is my name being used to mask personal insecurities
cbattaglia says: doesn’t it say something in the bible about homosexuality being wrong?
god says: i didn’t write that thing. lol this is what i was talking about earlier: the spin doctors. i may be at the core of all spirituality, but everything that branches off of that isn’t from me
cbattaglia says: i see… so you don’t endorse any “holy” texts?
god says: lmao! NO! do u know how many times those things have been translated, interpreted and re-written to include or exclude certain passages??? i’m pretty sure there’s even a story out there about my son making a trip to Utah. it’s like a plot for a bad teen movie. i don’t even have a son. lol
cbattaglia says: wow. interesting. so jesus wasn’t yours?
god says: …no, and i won’t pay the child support, either. mary’s just trying to cash in on the lie
cbattaglia says: so all of this stuff that happens, everything done in your name, it’s all bullshit?
god says: well, i’ll be honest: no. i do enjoy screwing around with the brown-nosers a bit to see where they’ll take it. like, i’ll appear for some believer all important-sounding with a quest that really has no meaning, and sit back while the drama unfolds. it’s pretty funny
cbattaglia says: that’s a little petty for the almighty, no?
god says: hey, i get bored too. u guys r my tv. lol
god says: if u think that’s bad, u should see what i’ve done to other places…
cbattaglia says: i don’t think i want to know
god says: lol
cbattaglia says: one thing i would like to know, though, is what happens when we die
god says: u die
cbattaglia says: …and?
god says: that’s it
cbattaglia says: oh
god says: lol, don’t worry, reality is a tricky thing. u still technically live on in the hearts and minds of those who knew u, so u’re not completely gone, if u catch my drift
cbattaglia says: i think i do… sort of
god says: lol
god says: i g2g
cbattaglia says: ok, cool, but just so you know: i still don’t believe in you
god says: oh? why not?
cbattaglia says: because our conversation here proves you exist, yet (as referenced by Douglas Adams) you refused to ever do that, because “proof denies faith, and without faith, i am nothing.”
god says: oh, right… lol
*god has signed off

Try to reflect on it.

There’s a difference between living and existing. It is rare that one realises this.

Many are in favour of either revolution or reforms, or rather just changes in certain areas. Mahatma Gandhi was the change that he wanted to see in the world.